


It Starts With a Memory

by lelepandewritium



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Childhood, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route Spoilers, Gen, Genderfluid Character, Mercenaries, Other, Parent-Child Relationship, Slow Build, Slow Burn, young Byleth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-08-12 00:20:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20162563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lelepandewritium/pseuds/lelepandewritium
Summary: No matter how often she tugged at their clothes, they didn’t seem to understand what she wanted. Needed. They simply looked at her and saw that nothing was wrong.She didn’t understand this. She was upset, why couldn’t they see? Her papa always understood, why couldn’t they?-----------This fic will contain memories from a number of people, all being linked to Jeralt's relationship with Byleth, who of which is genderfluid.





	1. First Memory

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So far I have about 7 chapters in mind for this fic, but the number might grow as I proceed. 
> 
> Feel free to let me know if there's a memory from someone you'd like to see specifically! So far I have memories from Byleth, Jeralt, Claude and Hilda in line.
> 
> I also promise that I'll get to the Claude/Byleth part of this story eventually. End game!

Her earliest memory was of her father, crouched with his eyebrows pinched together. She stood before him, barely up to his chest even in his crouched state. Her fists were by her sides, dress bunched in between her fingers. Yet even while she felt upset, for the past few hours no less, those that she spent her day with had been none the wiser. No matter how often she tugged at their clothes, they didn’t seem to understand what she wanted. Needed. They simply looked at her and saw that nothing was wrong.

She didn’t understand this. She was upset, why couldn’t they see? Her papa always understood, why couldn’t they?

Papa, that was the reason she was upset. He wasn’t there. She knew that he had gone off on a job the day before, and she was used to this. But he said he’d be back early that morning. She’d woken up well before the sun had come out, wanting to be the first one that saw her Papa. 

She watched the few mercenaries that had stayed at camp wake up and start doing their daily chores, Korine coming up to her with breakfast and a comb to try and manage her bedhead, something her papa had long ago given up on doing and only styled upon Byleth’s request.

Korine was young in comparison to the majority of the mercenaries under Jeralt’s group, but she was skilled and Jeralt trusted her to look after his child, something she was thankfully happy to do. Byleth liked her, and Korine understood her more than all the other mercenaries, always greeting her with a ‘How you feelin today?’ and complying with her curt response of ‘boy’ or ‘girl’. 

But, her Papa would always have her beat. 

While she can tell when Byleth is upset, she could never quite tell why or always be of help. She tried her best though and never told Byleth to speak up, something that she heard a lot whenever her Papa took her to town with him. She hasn’t gone with him in a while, not since her Papa almost got in a fight with a merchant when he wouldn’t sell them a dress she had been eyeing. 

Byleth followed Korine around for the rest of the morning, eventually just plopping down at the edge of camp after lunch and refused to be moved from there. She stared off into the forest, straight into the gap of trees her father had disappeared through. Perhaps, he would return through those same trees. 

No one else in camp seemed to be concerned in her Papa’s tardiness. Maybe they were used to it. Maybe he didn’t bother telling them when he’d be back and only let her know. Maybe they just didn’t care.

This thought bothered her enough to get her up on her feet, trotting off to where she saw Korine and tugging at her trousers for attention. 

Korine glanced down at her, stacking the firewood in her arms down in their proper place before placing a hand on Byleth’s hair. “What’s up squirt? Dinner will be ready in about an hour if you’re hungry.”

Byleth just shook her head, tugging more insistently at her and pointing towards the forest.

“Did you see something out there? It’s okay, most creatures stay away when there’s a large group of people.”

Again, all Byleth could do was shake her head.

Korine crouched down, smoothing Byleth’s hair down and sighing when it popped back up into its messy state. “If this is about Jeralt, you should know that he’s the strongest of all of us. No need to worry about him. He’ll be back when he gets back, okay?”

‘But when?’ she wanted to ask. He was late. Didn’t she know that? Her Papa’s never been late before. At least, not as far as she knows. Has he? 

Despite her conflicting thoughts, her face remained passive, as always. She nodded at Korine, finally letting go of her trousers and trotting off again. Maybe someone else would have a better answer for her. 

And there she went, visiting the rest of the mercenaries in camp and coming up empty.

‘Huh, what’s up, ya hungry?’

‘Lookin for Korine?’

‘Hey lil miss, wanna help out?’

‘Here, you can feed the horses if you want.’

With every person that she spoke with, her thoughts didn’t seem to come across to them. She just wanted to know about her Papa.

Where was her Papa.

She wanted her Papa. 

Dinner came and went, Byleth not being able to take one bite of her dinner which caused just about the entire camp to check her temperature to make sure she wasn’t sick. They let her be after a half hour of fussing over her, Korine frowning and trying to get her to bed early, but Byleth just shook her head and sat down at the edge of camp again. 

The sun finally set fully, the moon rising high in the sky and illuminating the forest enough for Byleth to see that gap in the trees. Eventually she heard footsteps approaching her from behind, Korine settling in behind her and picking her up into her lap. It was cozier than the hard floor, so Byleth didn’t mind and just settled in. 

They were silent, one staring into the forest and the other up at the sky. 

Another hour had gone by, exhaustion burning behind Byleth’s eyes, but she refused to go to sleep until she saw her Papa. 

She hadn’t even noticed she’d closed her eyes until she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder, blinking her eyes open halfway and seeing dark shadows coming through the trees. She blinked her eyes open wider, watching with rapt attention as the shapes turned into horses and the forms on top became names in her mind instead of just blobs. 

Korine shifted underneath her, standing up onto her feet and lifting Byleth with her. Byleth waited with Korine, eyes staring into the forest and ignoring all the chatter rising up around her. 

She just wanted her Papa.

And there he was, the last to walk through the forest, watching the backs of all those that follow him. She clutched at her dress, remaining where she was by Korine and locking eyes with her Papa from so far away. 

She only had to wait a few more minutes for him to come up to her, crouching down as close to her level as he could. He only looked her over for a few seconds, taking in her clenched fists and the dirt that covered the lower parts of her dress before reaching out and smoothing his hand down her hair. “I’m sorry starlight, I know I promised you I’d be back by morning. You were waiting for me huh?”

Byleth nodded her head, finally unclenching her fists from her dress and stretching her arms up at her Papa.

Jeralt stood and lifted Byleth up into his arms, rubbing her back soothingly as she tucked herself close and closed her eyes, relaxing for what was probably the first time since she’d woken up. 

She felt her Papa start moving, talking quietly with someone, but she couldn’t put up any effort to pay attention to what was being said, instead finally allowing herself to drop down into sleep with a quiet “Papa” falling from her lips. 

The last thing she felt before she fell asleep was something pressing softly against her hair.


	2. Cherished Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this one! Leonie honestly got on my nerves when I was playing the game at first but eventually I just found her comments hilarious. After a couple hours of going "Is she stealing my Papa???" anyways. 
> 
> Hope you have a good time with this chapter!

“Now the important thing to remember is that a lance will give you range, you need not stray too close to your opponent, as it’s effective in keeping your opponent at a distance. Keeping that in mind, when they manage to slip through your defenses you must learn how to adjust your fighting style to close quarters...yes Leonie?”

Leonie had her arm raised high, a disgruntled look on her face. “Professor, how do you know so much about using a lance? I’ve never seen you use anything but a sword before, maybe an axe once or twice. And I guess I have seen you punch plenty of people’s lights out but, really. Never a lance!”

Byleth lowered the lance he had in his hand, relaxing his stance. “I prefer being up close with my opponents. It provides them less leeway to get away or try at a sneak attack, but I understand that the lance is a very powerful and useful weapon. My father--”

“Captain Jeralt? You mean he taught YOU how to use a lance? For how long? Are you really any good at it or is that the reason you don’t use them? Professor--”

“Leonie, one question at a time, if you’d please. My father taught me how to use a lance, as well as a sword, how to brawl, horseback riding. Many things in fact, since I was a child and could begin learning. I’m quite adept with a lance, or so my father tells me.”

Leonie couldn’t help but scoff, ignoring the nudge she got from Ignatz. “I’m sorry professor but I don’t believe you. I’m sure that I could definitely beat you! I learned everything from Captain Jeralt too you know. I would like to spar with you and prove that I’m Captain Jeralts number one disciple!”

Byleth inclined his head in agreement. A demonstration would be a good way to teach his students first hand. 

They were currently all in the training grounds, lances lined up behind Byleth for practice after he had finished demonstrating what he wanted the students to practice for the day. He grabbed one off the rack, passing it over to a determined looking Leonie, his own spear already in hand. 

Claude leaned over towards Hilda, whispering loud enough for just about everyone to hear, “Bet you Leonie won’t last a minute.”

Hilda covered her mouth to mask a giggle, murmuring back “She won’t last 10 seconds.”

Leonie flushed, turning to glare at her classmates, “Hey! Shut up!”

Much to everyone’s shock, it was Marianne who spoke up next, her hands clasped together and her eyes shut in prayer. “Goddess, please protect Leonie.”

Byleth had to hush everyone from their laughter, making sure the rest of his students were far enough away to avoid a swinging lance before settling into his stance and shouting, “Begin!”

\-----------------------

A lance flew at his head, barely giving him enough time to dodge to the side and only just managing not to trip over the lance in his own hands. Before he could even think about regaining his breath and retaliating, said lance swiped his feet right out from under him, making him land in a heap on the rough ground. 

“Up! An enemy will not hesitate to strike when you’re down. Exhaustion is something that must be ignored in battle, else you’ll find your life will be the cost.”

Byleth stood back onto his feet, his Papa giving him a precious few seconds to regain the stance he’s spent so many months trying to master. With one last deep breath Byleth lunged forward, spending the rest of daylight training. 

Or well, bruising himself all over really. 

Come nightfall they were preparing dinner, just the two of them stowed away in their own little corner of the forest. A monthly getaway his Papa and him would go on, to see new things (for Byleth anyways) as well as to learn and train. All his Papa’s knowledge slowly being passed down to him. 

It was a time Byleth looked forward to, a quarter of a moon spent together with his Papa without him going off midway for a job, or without any of the other mercenaries taking up his attention. Just him and his Papa. 

Sure it was hard sometimes, the training taking a lot out of him or when they would go out in winter, his Papa teaching him all the ways to survive through the climate and the limited food supply. 

But anytime he was with his Papa he knew he was safe, no matter what dangers his Papa spoke of or threatened with.

Byleth moved around sluggishly, his muscles protesting the weight of the firewood in his arms. Once he finally set them down, arranging them in a pile a safe distance from the already burning fire, he let out a quick sigh, stretching out his aching muscles. 

“I guess I did push you a little hard today, but aching muscles mean improvement. You did well, Byleth.” Papa placed a hand onto his head, smoothing down the sections that stick up and chuckling as they bounced back up. “Go sit down son, I’ll have dinner ready in a few.”

Byleth nodded, plopping down on a tree stump and watching his papa work, feeling warmth inside, unrelated to the crackling fire before him. These times would always be something cherished for him.

\-----------------------

“Now, who can tell me what Leonie did wrong?”

Claude raised his hand up with a grin, “She thought she was better than our very own Teach!”

Leonie sat with the rest of the class, glaring over at Claude with dirt covering her entire right side. 

Byleth smiled faintly, moving his hand slowly from side to side, “You have the idea but I wouldn’t use those words exactly. Her movements were very strong and precise, something I’m sure she got from my father. But she wasn’t careful. She assumed she was better from the beginning and so didn’t try to recover immediately after. Therefore, she was left open to attack when I dodged her initial strike. Remember not to let bravado control your movements. While you shouldn’t hold back against an opponent in a life or death situation, remember to keep your head, do not open yourself up to attack. Be smart as well as strong, and yes Raphael, that goes for you as well, despite all your muscles.”

Raphael deflated where he sat, the arms he had up to flex his bulging muscles lowering right back down to his sides. 

“My son is correct, bravado on the battlefield can and will get you killed if you’re not careful. I believe I taught you that Leonie.”

Leonie jerked upright, “C-Captain Jeralt! How long were you watching?!”

Jeralt smirked, waving her back down. “Since the beginning. Your professor asked me to help teach for this lesson. I’m happy to note that everything I taught him seems to have stuck. Now! Who would like to have me as a sparring partner? Not you Leonie, I actually think you’d do well helping your class learn as well, don’t you think?” Here he turned towards Byleth, gaining a confirming nod from him despite Lorenz’s sputtering about how a nobel could never possibly learn from a commoner. 

In the end no one volunteered to spar with Jeralt, Byleth taking it upon himself to volunteer Claude.

He should have known better than to speak up so much earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments! If you'd like to see a memory from the perspective of someone specifically, let me know! Like I said, it'll always be about Jeralt!


	3. Playful Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favorite chapters so far, really adorable and sweet! It took me a while to write it but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out!

Jeralt stood in the hall beside the Monastery’s classroom, looking out at the lawn where the Golden Deer were ‘training’. Or so, that’s what they say. It looked reminiscent to a game of tag, just more violent with practice swords in hand, as well as the fact that everyone was ‘it’ with the exception of his child, who of which was bouncing around, bowling his students over or whacking them into each other. 

They were loud and uncoordinated, forgoing strategy and just diving in with smiles stretched wide, battle cries echoing out with every “Charge!” shouted out by their class leader. They were so loud in fact, they just about drowned out Byleth’s shout for them not to forget the point of the exercise. But Jeralt could see his child’s faint smile, knowing that the students would get no repercussions from ignoring him.

“This seems like more than a game than the so called ‘training’ the Professor said it would be, do you not think?”

Jeralt straightened up from his slouch against a pillar, turning to look at the man that stood just behind him, surveying the students with a frown. Inclining his head, he greeted the man, “Seteth.”

Seteth hummed, nodding his head back and continuing to survey the class. 

Jeralt turned to them as well, a grin slipping onto his face as he watched his son leap over a charging Raphael, causing him to slam into a shrieking Lorenz. “It does seem like a game, but it is training, as my child said. It’s a form of training I would often use with Byleth when he was young. As you can see, that ‘game’ was quite effective at keeping him nimble and evasive, something he must be trying to teach his students. With moderate success, I must admit.”

“I...see. And you participated in this ‘game’? I find that quite hard to believe.”

He scoffed, eyeing Seteth from the corner of his eye. “Byleth is my child, I’m neither heartless nor stupid enough to believe that a child doesn’t deserve to play every now and then. Of course, he never really had other children to play with, only adult mercenaries who were always far older than he was. But most if not all of us were willing to join in on a game, and they served well to teach him skills that he could utilize as he grew. There was a time when the entire camp joined in on a game of hide and seek. It took over a week for Byleth to find everyone.”

Jeralt could see Seteth smile faintly, a faraway look in his eyes that Jeralt recognized as one he himself would often get lost in from time to time. “That does indeed sound like a decent learning experience. I would love to hear more of this tale...if you're willing to share?”

Jeralt eyed Seteth, looking for any sign of an ulterior motive coming from the man, but to his credit he met his eyes unflinchingly and with an honest curiosity lighting them up. Shrugging, he decided to abide by his wishes. “Well, I believe Byleth was around eleven when it happened…”

\---------------

“A game?” Korine blinked down at Byleth, a nod following her question as well as a sigh coming from Jeralt. “Well, sure! Why the hell not. But first of all darlin, what’ll it be today?”

Byleth gripped at her pants, a quiet “girl” coming from her that only just reached Korine’s ears. 

Jeralt placed his hand on top of Byleth’s head, smoothing out the two braids she’d asked for that morning and making sure they were clipped neatly behind her head. “She’s been wanting to play hide and seek for a while now, but since we were on the move there wasn’t a good time for it. We can camp here for the time being so there should be no problem with it now. We can see who else would like to join in once breakfast is over.”

Breakfast was a quiet affair, eggs and cooked meat being passed around with bowls of rice. Byleth didn’t eat much, excited despite the plainness of her face. Most wouldn’t tell, but her father was able to spot it in the way she couldn’t quite sit still and how she ate more messily than usual. Even most of the other mercenaries were able to see that something was going on. 

“Alright everyone, I have an announcement so listen up!” Jeralt stood before all the others, immediately gaining their attention and having their backs straighten. His serious tone put them on the edge of their seats. Another job maybe? 

Jeralt’s serious look fell away, being replaced with a grin. “In an hour I’ll be playing a game with Byleth. Anyone that’d like to join in on ‘hide and seek’ is welcome to, but remember to give her a run for her money!”

Byleth stood beside Jeralt, loosely holding onto a chunk of her Papa’s armor and not meeting eyes with any of the other mercenaries. 

Noise burst out over the camp, laughter and groans coming from them at how tense Jeralt had gotten all of them. Soon enough there were shouts of ‘I’ll join!’ and ‘Sounds fun!’ as well as bets running for who would be found first and who would last the longest. It wasn’t long before the entire camp had agreed, packing up a few necessary belongings and patting Byleth on the head as they wandered off into the forest, wanting to get a headstart before she would be tasked to look for everyone. 

Soon it was only Byleth and Jeralt left behind at what little remained of their camping spot. This would prove a challenge for Byleth, as well as testing her tracking and survival skills. Jeralt would offer help where it was needed, but this was mainly all on Byleth. She seemed determined, messily packing her camping bag, for which Jeralt scolded her lightly. “Remember to plan accordingly, you won’t know how long we’ll be out there. It’s a game but this will also be testing your skills. If you don’t pack everything you need you’ll wind up in trouble later.”

Byleth sighed but nodded in assent, reorganizing all her items and sheepishly (for her) grabbing the few things she’d grudgingly forgotten to pack. 

Finally it was time to depart, Byleth leading them through the forest for near an hour before she paused, noting some scuff marks on the ground and deciding that they were too precise. Instead of following them, she darted in the opposite direction, her footsteps quiet as she approached a group of two of her Papa’s mercenaries. She picked up two small pebbles, sneaking her way to a close by tree and peeking around it. When both seemed to be distracted with setting up camp, she pounced out and chucked the pebbles in her hand at them, smacking them on a chunk of their armors and startling them enough to make them yelp. 

Jeralt laughed as he approached from behind her, patting her shoulder proudly which almost seemed to make her glow. “Good job Byleth, that’s two down. Only twenty seven more to go!”

That night Byleth found around 5 more of Jeralt’s mercenaries, the moon already high up in the sky by the time Byleth seemed to be nodding off. 

They sat at a fire together, Byleth leaning against her Papa as he warmed up some meat for them. They both stared up at the stars as they ate, Byleth scooting closer to her Papa when the breeze picked up. Jeralt wrapped his cloak around her, sighing at the peacefulness of the situation.

“Thank you Papa.”

Jeralt jolted, looking down at his child and smiling faintly as she snuggled deeper into his furs. “You’re welcome Starlight.”

\---------------

“The last one to be found was Korine. She was the reason it had taken over a week for us to be done with it all. She definitely gave Byleth the turnaround, tricking him with fake tracks and whatnot. Even stole some of his camping supplies when he wasn’t paying attention!” Jeralt laughed, his tense posture having relaxed around Seteth finally as he progressed with his story. 

Seteth chuckled faintly, nodding in thanks at Jeralt. “Thank you for indulging me with this tale Jeralt. I’d best be on my way, there are still many tasks to be done for today and I’ve held off on them long enough. Perhaps you’d be inclined to speak with me again some time soon. I’d be happy to share some stories of when Flayn was younger. Her first time fishing is one of my personal favorites. She fell into the lake you see, and, well. Yes, a story for next time…?”

Jeralt slapped Seteth on the back, pitching him forwards and jolting a surprised noise from his throat. “‘Course! I’m looking forward to it Seteth.”

Seteth smiled faintly, nodding at him once more before departing, but not before spotting a certain golden colored leader climb up to the roof of one of the buildings and jump down with a shout, a surprised Byleth rushing forward to catch him. He was, inevitably, knocked down with Claude’s weight, the other students rushing forward to pile on top of their professor in victory, cheers ringing throughout what seemed to be the entire monastery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls let me know what you thought of the chapter! It was super fun to write!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think in the comments and feel free to message me on twitter @lelewrit if you'd like to chat!


End file.
